o, most merciful, holy Father —
my self. my real me is only before me when it is
before You.
and i am always
before You.

a self-confident world assures me of me.
tells me to pull off masks. to be authentic.
be real. be me

but the world’s real is an ever-adapting real
before You, the only one who is True –
i have no mask. i have no authenticity.

realness before others is falseness before the Real.
the burning gaze of Your holy word
pays no heed to my shell. It sees me. me.
exposing all. missing nothing.

so
to call you my Father –
to call upon Your Name as progeny
calls into question the meaning of fatherhood.

for
there are no identifying family characteristics.
You of pure sight. i bored glance.
You of righteous right arm. i stealing hand.
You of merciful heart. i of dead stone.
You of purposed mind. i importunate lust.
You of holiness and life. i common. but dust.

A True Son You have.
A True Son who is pure radiance of You.
A True Son in whom You are forever pleased.
A True Son in whom there is no need.
A True Son who speaks You.

Who is I AM, just as You.

this alien calling you Father has no birthright. no
origins to claim.
i have only a substitute.
a violent, bloody, cross of substitution —
Your True Son being me yet not me
Your True Son made sin yet with no sin
Your True Son satisfying holy wrath
Your True Son appeasing. You.
for me.

i have only the Substitute —
i have only an empty bloody cross.
I have only a document of adoption.
i have Your True Son sent. by You.
i have Your True Son forsaken. by You.
i have Your True Son slaughtered. by You.
i have Your True Son raised. by You.
i have Your True Son ascended, seated. by You.
for me.
for You.
to claim.
me.

o, most merciful, holy Father —
your Son is only before me when i am before You.
and i am always
before You.

before You, the only one who is True –
Your child comes.
bringing my alien sons
praying.
they will know.
You.
as alien children.
adopted children.
that You will know them as sons.

tedd mathis
october 2009/rev. 2013, 2016